How ever changing, ever deliberately unconscious, ever uncomfortable our moods become, it seems that standing in the wake of the ups and downs, lefts and rights of our swings are… strangers… colleagues… friends… and, of course, loved ones… who are battered by the blows. The process reminds me of the popular Spanish party game, the Piñata... we swing blindly, letting our mood move with our senses which we have allowed to be controlled by external stressors and circumstances… then with sudden quick movements we crack down hard on any target that we touch hoping for a great release. The only difference is… instead of sweet candy, we just get a broken target. And, when the blindfold comes off, and our mood relaxes, we realize that the target was just a passer by, and innocent soul, who took the brunt of our frustration, and is left with the sting of it.
I am reminded today of all the people in my life over the years, that may have felt the sting of my blind mood swing batters… and I am compelled to say... I am sorry. I am sorry that I did not take the time to see you... that I did not take the time to hear you... that I did not stop myself from swinging in your direction, and save you the sting of my words. I am sorry that in my selfish need to feel a release from the pressure that I allowed to control my mood, I did not take the time to reach out and feel the support of your love and know that you were there.
I know that some who read this will perhaps think that I am over reacting… well, doesn’t everybody swing from time to time… I mean it is only human. Yes, it’s true, we are, I am. But, it doesn’t really excuse me from the need to see it, to change it, to seek forgiveness for it. Sometimes the object of my swings has been myself…and those have often been the hardest blows. And so tonight, I am in a very grateful mood… thankful to God that He allows us to age, to grow… while it is often painful, the process of change can yield the wonder of wisdom and the beauty of insight, which together seem to create a powerfully positive impression on our life and the lives of those around us.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
the World, according to Renee
The world is a beautiful place – I wish I could say that I have seen it all but, well…not yet!!! Perhaps I will be blessed with a life long enough to experience at least most of it! And who knows, one can always dream. Those who know me know that traveling, engaging with the local people and culture and experiencing the sites, sounds, smells, tastes and the feeling of new places is one of my favorite things. I have been privileged in my life to travel to 5 out of the 7 continents of the world – not thinking Antarctica will be on my immediate list, but Africa is definitely on my get there soon list!
What is it about the world that intrigues me? That’s a question that I have tried to articulate over the past several years to myself. Why am I drawn to go, why is it easy for me to leave behind my friends and family and get a plane, sometimes even alone, and go to a foreign place? What makes it all so beautiful to me?
All of it. I am drawn in so many ways. I am drawn by the culture, the differences between them, the uniqueness of the views, perspectives, interpretation of life, values, what is held most dear. I am drawn by the landscapes, the heights and depths, the outstretched skies, and cozy corners of the earth. I am drawn by the warmth and the coolness of the air. I am drawn by the stunning architecture, the quaint little homes, the villages shattered across a mountainside creating a new landscape of white stone and a thousand windows. I am drawn to the bridges, tiny stone ones, vast works of art spanning across a city skyline, bridges of rope taking you across the rivers of the jungles. I am draw by the art, paintings, sculptures, crafts, the creative genius that comes from ordinary men and women. I am drawn by the people, the depth of insight they share, the joy of expression, hearts full of passion, the eyes of a child. I am drawn by the power of creation.
I was asked once if I thought that one person could change the world. I didn’t seem to hesitate at all. Of course. Do I think that I can change the world? Yes. Sounds a little arrogant, doesn’t it. It’s not meant to be. I think every person has the power to change the world…now I will get a little sappy… so, if you get nausea from sappiness…don’t read on! The power we have to change the world exists in every moment, of every day of our lives, through the choices we make…the butterfly effect, if you will. If we choose today to be happy and we are…to spite the circumstances of our day, to spite the stress of our lives, then we set in motion a series of changes that make a difference to every person’s world that day. Smile at a stranger and they inevitably smile back. Show kindness to a person and they cannot help but be thankful. Our lives are so fragile, yet so strong. We have such powerful weaknesses, yet when our strengths, talents and gifts are invested into the lives of others, our weaknesses seem to fade, and our life finds meaning that we cannot deny.
The power of creation. That’s how I see it. We are beautifully and wonderfully made. We have been given all that we have, and have the choice to give or take from this world that is ours. In the giving, we receive so much more.
What is it about the world that intrigues me? That’s a question that I have tried to articulate over the past several years to myself. Why am I drawn to go, why is it easy for me to leave behind my friends and family and get a plane, sometimes even alone, and go to a foreign place? What makes it all so beautiful to me?
All of it. I am drawn in so many ways. I am drawn by the culture, the differences between them, the uniqueness of the views, perspectives, interpretation of life, values, what is held most dear. I am drawn by the landscapes, the heights and depths, the outstretched skies, and cozy corners of the earth. I am drawn by the warmth and the coolness of the air. I am drawn by the stunning architecture, the quaint little homes, the villages shattered across a mountainside creating a new landscape of white stone and a thousand windows. I am drawn to the bridges, tiny stone ones, vast works of art spanning across a city skyline, bridges of rope taking you across the rivers of the jungles. I am draw by the art, paintings, sculptures, crafts, the creative genius that comes from ordinary men and women. I am drawn by the people, the depth of insight they share, the joy of expression, hearts full of passion, the eyes of a child. I am drawn by the power of creation.
I was asked once if I thought that one person could change the world. I didn’t seem to hesitate at all. Of course. Do I think that I can change the world? Yes. Sounds a little arrogant, doesn’t it. It’s not meant to be. I think every person has the power to change the world…now I will get a little sappy… so, if you get nausea from sappiness…don’t read on! The power we have to change the world exists in every moment, of every day of our lives, through the choices we make…the butterfly effect, if you will. If we choose today to be happy and we are…to spite the circumstances of our day, to spite the stress of our lives, then we set in motion a series of changes that make a difference to every person’s world that day. Smile at a stranger and they inevitably smile back. Show kindness to a person and they cannot help but be thankful. Our lives are so fragile, yet so strong. We have such powerful weaknesses, yet when our strengths, talents and gifts are invested into the lives of others, our weaknesses seem to fade, and our life finds meaning that we cannot deny.
The power of creation. That’s how I see it. We are beautifully and wonderfully made. We have been given all that we have, and have the choice to give or take from this world that is ours. In the giving, we receive so much more.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Bloggling the Mind...
It's truly fascinating...you put something out there, and you have no idea how fast it gets to people. A little spooky, I must admit. The path of links that exists in cyber-space is really mind-boggling, or bloggling, as I now call it. During my 3 years at INJOY in Atlanta, I was introduced to a lot of marketing trend research and information...and they did say (the so called experts) that blogging was going to be the greatest/or worst marketing asset for companies...a vehicle of communication that would make or break a company - traditional consumer reports would be a thing of the past, and people would buy based on what others were saying on the their blogs!! Companies would have little to no control over the "real marketing campaign" - the new cyber-space "grassroot movement", or "cyber-roots movement" I guess....
And, so the same can now be said about how information will travel about our personal lives as well...as I click through a friend's blog to links of old friends reaquainting myself with their lives in almost 'real time' I am truly fascinated...no more having to worry about remembering call, or sending mass emails setting up countless "group" emails etc...no more having to share the story of your life over the past 3 years to every past aquaintance that you come in contact with....just blog and your whole life will travel from one link to the next and everyone will say, when you see them after 3 years of no direct communication,....Wow, so great to see you...so how is that new puppy that you just got? Still having trouble with the potty training? It was so nice to hear that you and Jack, and the kids had a great time in Hawaii last week!!
It's both liberating and a little sad...we are connecting with people that we would otherwise not, due to distance, and time...but there is the rub...time...somehow, it seems that society is danger of losing the treasure of it...and, I fear the loss of value that will come to the power of human connection - I was talking to a youth leader in Australia a few years ago and she was saying that they are now having to offer classes in personal connection for teenagers - some of them, not even knowing how to introduce themselves, shake hands, and interact with new people - they are "texting" instead - it's the new form of "passing a note" but it is going well beyond junior high - young adults who don't have a clue how to talk to each other except in cyber-space.
Don't misunderstand, I am the worst offender when it comes to the commitment of staying in touch with my friends and even family at times....it is simply unacceptable. And, I think this blogging experience is actually teaching me to value it more, to strive for it, to make it a priority...because nothing can replace it, and if the opportunity of time with a loved one passes me by, I will regret that I did not make the most of it. This opportunity to BLOG my life and let it flow through the channels of space and time, is truly a gift for me - one that will continue to treasure, because I know that a connection is being made with so many friends that I could not in "real time" connect with so personally. To those, I want to say, Hello... I miss you...I am sorry it has taken me so long.
And, so the same can now be said about how information will travel about our personal lives as well...as I click through a friend's blog to links of old friends reaquainting myself with their lives in almost 'real time' I am truly fascinated...no more having to worry about remembering call, or sending mass emails setting up countless "group" emails etc...no more having to share the story of your life over the past 3 years to every past aquaintance that you come in contact with....just blog and your whole life will travel from one link to the next and everyone will say, when you see them after 3 years of no direct communication,....Wow, so great to see you...so how is that new puppy that you just got? Still having trouble with the potty training? It was so nice to hear that you and Jack, and the kids had a great time in Hawaii last week!!
It's both liberating and a little sad...we are connecting with people that we would otherwise not, due to distance, and time...but there is the rub...time...somehow, it seems that society is danger of losing the treasure of it...and, I fear the loss of value that will come to the power of human connection - I was talking to a youth leader in Australia a few years ago and she was saying that they are now having to offer classes in personal connection for teenagers - some of them, not even knowing how to introduce themselves, shake hands, and interact with new people - they are "texting" instead - it's the new form of "passing a note" but it is going well beyond junior high - young adults who don't have a clue how to talk to each other except in cyber-space.
Don't misunderstand, I am the worst offender when it comes to the commitment of staying in touch with my friends and even family at times....it is simply unacceptable. And, I think this blogging experience is actually teaching me to value it more, to strive for it, to make it a priority...because nothing can replace it, and if the opportunity of time with a loved one passes me by, I will regret that I did not make the most of it. This opportunity to BLOG my life and let it flow through the channels of space and time, is truly a gift for me - one that will continue to treasure, because I know that a connection is being made with so many friends that I could not in "real time" connect with so personally. To those, I want to say, Hello... I miss you...I am sorry it has taken me so long.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Time...
Well, it's time. I am finally doing it. I am writing my first blog entry. For those of you that don't know...Mitch actually wrote my first entry for me...yes, I am truly pathetic! So, here are my blog rules...I am a desperately fanatical editor or whatever I write (and a terrible speller to boot!)...those of you who have received long emails from me will be interested to know that it sometimes takes me hours to write, read, re-read, edit, etc, etc...just so that what I am saying sounds just right....blah, blah, blah....so, my first rule...no judging the lack of editing...this three dot thing...yes, it's going to happen over and over...and over. Rule 2...this one is for me...I am going to try to do this without editing (well, too much). I have actually realized that this 'editing' obsession has carry over into my life, and I need to be free of it. Free...Free...Free......free.
Okay, so let's get started...I am sure that those of you who have ventured onto my spot are all asking the obvious question....are you really a Blonde? All this time with the dark brown hair...why the mystery? It's a long story, one that Mitch thought particularly fitting when he encouraged me to blog. A dear college friend, and mutual friend to Mitch and I, used to tease me that I "must be a blonde" because of some of the comments I would make and my quirky nature...yeah, yeah...I know. One day, he actually checked my head to see if I was dying my hair and really had Blonde roots! The image of a skunk comes to mind, I know. But, no, I am naturally a very, very dark brunette, almost black really...with a little grey, I do admit, coming in now that I am practically middle-aged!
Practically middle-aged, and for those that are just now catching up on my flightful life...no, I am not married...or nearly married...or dating anyone...or have any prospects...and interestingly enough...not worried! Life is good. I have the best friends...all over the place...literally. And, I am happy...really...I know some of you are concerned, but please know that I am blessed beyond what I could ever deserve, and I am content to live, love and let life happen to me as it will. I am seeking nothing but to be who God intended me to be.
Enough preachababel.
I am back in my family's now hometown of about 15 years - St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada - some of you may have seen my singing debut "Oh Canada" online, thanks to my lovely friend.....oh, yes, MITCH again!! It's disturbing to say the least.
Last stop on my traveling career was Atlanta, GA - working for John Maxwell's leadership company...good times, GREAT friends, and lots of new experiences. Before that Portland, OR - hometown of my best friend, Rachel Gallagher (nee, White) - working for Luis Palau Association - short time, great views. That brings be back Texas and to my time at Teen Mania - love them, love the friends, love the memories, did not care for Texas. Then, of course, ORU in Tulsa, OK...the beginning of a great journey that continues to this day.
Enough history.
Me,...now. I am working for a non-profit organization in Canada called Operation Springboard - I am coordinating a new project that they are initiating that involves interactive e-learning tools for youth and young adults who are at risk of, or are involved in, the criminal justice system. So politically correct, eh? And, there it is....the "eh" you have all been waiting for. Sarcasm is back in full force now that I am back in Canada - it's part of my heritage.
I do love want I am doing right now - a good opportunity to put my experience and talents to work in a very meaningful project. But, I am going to admit openly and put it out there in cyber-space - I am still searching. I know some of you are already thinking...she seems to have been searching for a while....moving from place to place, job to job...it's true...but I have discovered something profound along my way, and that is that I am not meant to settle...in many more ways than one.
I chatted with a friend online today and she, along with Mitch, and some of my other very close friends have said things lately that confirm for me that there is still a very real 'untapped' potential in me that is not being fully realised. Fear. That's all that is plugging up the flow of it. So, I am now, more than ever, resolved to venture on the quest to discover and activate it....
...to be continued.
Okay, so let's get started...I am sure that those of you who have ventured onto my spot are all asking the obvious question....are you really a Blonde? All this time with the dark brown hair...why the mystery? It's a long story, one that Mitch thought particularly fitting when he encouraged me to blog. A dear college friend, and mutual friend to Mitch and I, used to tease me that I "must be a blonde" because of some of the comments I would make and my quirky nature...yeah, yeah...I know. One day, he actually checked my head to see if I was dying my hair and really had Blonde roots! The image of a skunk comes to mind, I know. But, no, I am naturally a very, very dark brunette, almost black really...with a little grey, I do admit, coming in now that I am practically middle-aged!
Practically middle-aged, and for those that are just now catching up on my flightful life...no, I am not married...or nearly married...or dating anyone...or have any prospects...and interestingly enough...not worried! Life is good. I have the best friends...all over the place...literally. And, I am happy...really...I know some of you are concerned, but please know that I am blessed beyond what I could ever deserve, and I am content to live, love and let life happen to me as it will. I am seeking nothing but to be who God intended me to be.
Enough preachababel.
I am back in my family's now hometown of about 15 years - St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada - some of you may have seen my singing debut "Oh Canada" online, thanks to my lovely friend.....oh, yes, MITCH again!! It's disturbing to say the least.
Last stop on my traveling career was Atlanta, GA - working for John Maxwell's leadership company...good times, GREAT friends, and lots of new experiences. Before that Portland, OR - hometown of my best friend, Rachel Gallagher (nee, White) - working for Luis Palau Association - short time, great views. That brings be back Texas and to my time at Teen Mania - love them, love the friends, love the memories, did not care for Texas. Then, of course, ORU in Tulsa, OK...the beginning of a great journey that continues to this day.
Enough history.
Me,...now. I am working for a non-profit organization in Canada called Operation Springboard - I am coordinating a new project that they are initiating that involves interactive e-learning tools for youth and young adults who are at risk of, or are involved in, the criminal justice system. So politically correct, eh? And, there it is....the "eh" you have all been waiting for. Sarcasm is back in full force now that I am back in Canada - it's part of my heritage.
I do love want I am doing right now - a good opportunity to put my experience and talents to work in a very meaningful project. But, I am going to admit openly and put it out there in cyber-space - I am still searching. I know some of you are already thinking...she seems to have been searching for a while....moving from place to place, job to job...it's true...but I have discovered something profound along my way, and that is that I am not meant to settle...in many more ways than one.
I chatted with a friend online today and she, along with Mitch, and some of my other very close friends have said things lately that confirm for me that there is still a very real 'untapped' potential in me that is not being fully realised. Fear. That's all that is plugging up the flow of it. So, I am now, more than ever, resolved to venture on the quest to discover and activate it....
...to be continued.
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
I'm A Blogger
Because of my friend Mitch, I am now an official blogger. I just hope I can figure this site out. Perhaps you can give me some pointers to help me. See, I may have black hair but just like Rose Nyland my roots are blonde. Well, at least that's what I've been told by others.
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