Forget Me Not....

So, if you can imagine, I have not taken a picture with a camera that is my own for nearly 10 years now. That's 10 years of missed memories. Thankfully, I do have a good memory still at this age, but still. It's pathetic.

With the purchase of my new, and first, digital camera, I have been on somewhat of a mission to capture faces and moments in time. I have also been testing my ability to capture beauty, light and feeling. I am not a photographer, and have actually up until now, not really liked many of the photos I have taken. But, for some reason, I am taken with this new interest. And, perhaps it's the camera, but I must say, I am getting some really nice shots, even if they are only nice to me! The most meaningful ones, of course are of the ones I love. And, most of all my niece and nephew...who are twins and will be turning 10 at the end of this month. So, ironically, my return to taking photos, coinsides with the 10th anniversary of their birth! Again, pathetic!!!

So here they are... just gorgeous.

Mood Swing Batter

How ever changing, ever deliberately unconscious, ever uncomfortable our moods become, it seems that standing in the wake of the ups and downs, lefts and rights of our swings are… strangers… colleagues… friends… and, of course, loved ones… who are battered by the blows. The process reminds me of the popular Spanish party game, the Piñata... we swing blindly, letting our mood move with our senses which we have allowed to be controlled by external stressors and circumstances… then with sudden quick movements we crack down hard on any target that we touch hoping for a great release. The only difference is… instead of sweet candy, we just get a broken target. And, when the blindfold comes off, and our mood relaxes, we realize that the target was just a passer by, and innocent soul, who took the brunt of our frustration, and is left with the sting of it.

I am reminded today of all the people in my life over the years, that may have felt the sting of my blind mood swing batters… and I am compelled to say... I am sorry. I am sorry that I did not take the time to see you... that I did not take the time to hear you... that I did not stop myself from swinging in your direction, and save you the sting of my words. I am sorry that in my selfish need to feel a release from the pressure that I allowed to control my mood, I did not take the time to reach out and feel the support of your love and know that you were there.

I know that some who read this will perhaps think that I am over reacting… well, doesn’t everybody swing from time to time… I mean it is only human. Yes, it’s true, we are, I am. But, it doesn’t really excuse me from the need to see it, to change it, to seek forgiveness for it. Sometimes the object of my swings has been myself…and those have often been the hardest blows. And so tonight, I am in a very grateful mood… thankful to God that He allows us to age, to grow… while it is often painful, the process of change can yield the wonder of wisdom and the beauty of insight, which together seem to create a powerfully positive impression on our life and the lives of those around us.